OK, nak tau apekehalnya saya buat mende ni, adelah sebab saya telah membaca MommyLyna punya posting dengan tajuk diatas. Saya juga telah digula2kan oleh dia untuk menjawab soklan itu namun awas, jawapan saya adalah menurut hemah saya lah ye.
1. Sincerely accept him as my husband right from the start.
-DO. Namanya dah jadi suami maka kita bukan kawen sama kebaikannya aja tapi dengan keburukannya juga. Selepas je akad berlangsung, maka telah sah2 jadik bini orang, maka wajiblah pula bagi isteri untuk terima suaminya di saat itu jugak. Jangan tunggu 3,4,5 ari baru nak terima dia dengan ikhlas.
2. Put him as priority, even before the kids. Because he stands at the highest rank in ‘the people I shall obey to’.
-DO. Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang maksudnya: “Jika aku hendak menyuruh seseorang supaya sujud kepada seseorang tentulah aku perintahkan isteri supaya sujud kepada suaminya.” — Riwayat at-Tirmidzi, Ibnu Hibban, al-Baihaqi dan al-Wahidi
3. Encourage him to respect and take care of his mother, even if the MIL is very the cerewet.
-DO. Tu mak dia, mana boleh ajar mana2 anak sekalipun untuk tidak menghormati mak ayah dia. Bila suami kita hormat mak ayah dia, anak2 kita akan memerhati dan mereka akan turut menghormati kita nantinya.
4. Avoid communication breakdown, always talk and discuss about everything. And if I can’t, just send an SMS, email or letter.
-DO. Takyah kawin lah kot kalau tamau sembang, tamau jadi kawan gossip, tamau jadi tempat mengadu. Kan? Skang ni plak zaman semua benda dihujung jari...picit je lah apa yang ada. Takde idea?? Google lah idea sampai jumpa...hihi
5. Pray for him everytime I perform solat so that he can get the happiness and succeed in everything he ventures.
-DO. Kalau suami susah kita pun susah wooo...
6. Ask for his attention because I am his wife. He should prioritize me more than everything.
-DONT. Lelaki perlu banyak benda nak fikir. Serius...dia akan jemu kalau asyik dipaksa mengadap bini dia aja. Minta sekali sekala tak apa, itupun kalau dia sedang lupa kepada prioriti kita.
7. His mother has no right on him after he has his own family. His mother should stay away from his life and let him be with me and the kids.
-DONT. Takleh la mcm tu...tak rela weih nanti kalau Usamah dengan Uwaiys buat gini pada umi. Sob sob
8. Protect his dignity and don’t tell others about his bad and his weakness. Unless if he’s doing something not right.
- DO. If he's doing something not rite, u must be the 1st person to correct him back.
9. Always cook his favourite food and even if I don’t like it, I will still smiling and eat together.
-DO. Especially when he ask for it. But for me, we eat everything together.
10. Cool him down if he is under stress of anger by saying nice words, not membebel.
-DO. Do backing ur husband when he is under stress, this will push up his mood again but dont forget to counterback whatever u think he is wrong.
11. Say sorry even if we’re not doing anything wrong to avoid argument.
-DONT. Ini adalah in my case la ek. Lagi mintak maaf lagi berat jadi. Suami ku itu bersedia untuk memaafkan (rasanya). So, yang ni kalau secara umumnya adalah maybe DO n maybe DONT
12. Ask for ‘kesamarataan’ in husband and wife. I deserve to live as what I want to.
-DONNO. Hihi I've never ask for 'kesamarataan' because most of the time I feel like I dont have the rightful to be 'samarata' with my dear suami. Maybe, because of this my husband act to 'samaratakan' hidup kitorang. Senang ceritanya, I respect U dan U balas dengan respect me back.
13. House chores is not my job, it’s him. So he has to do his job or get a maid.
-DONT. It is kerjasama wonderpet. Ha ha...the job is not mine but it is not urs also, but it is ours.
14. He has no right to check my handphone because it is my privacy.
-DONT. Tak kisah maa...cek la. Sebab kita pun suka cek enpon dia...ke ke
15. I have my own life and I don’t need to ask his permission if I want to do anything.
-DONT. Alangkan nak puasa pun kene minta izin weih. Dont act as if U dont have laki. In marriage, mana ada istilah own life lagi, ia adalah our life.
16. He has to choose between his mother family or me. If he loves me, then he should choose me.
-DONT. Keluargaku, keluargamu jua. Gitulah lebih kurang. Manusia sentiasa ada kekurangannya.
17. I would do all the chores and manage the kids, even if I am working and exhausted after a long day.
- DONT. Kalau suami tak buat, buatlah sampai dia buat gak keje. Mcm mana nak suruh dia buat? Gunalah mcm2 cara dan please give more attention to the way that most effective.
18. Be transparent and do not keep secret to each other.
-DO. So U guys, dont ask me to keep secret to my suami unless it is seriously secret.
19. I have to respect his privacy because a man always needs space for himself.
-DO. Kepala dia akan semak kalau tak abis2 dengan kita aje. Sementara dia gunakan his time of privacy, get urself privacy XTVT also.
20. Sexual intercourse is not important, as long as we show love toward each other.
-DONNO also n no komen. Kikiki...
21. Focusing on how to be a good wife and mother rather than asking/hoping him to be a good husband and father.
-DO. U can just hope ur husband to be so but dont ask them sbb men got their level of egoism. Biarkan aje..yang penting kita buat keje kite sbb bila kita tak buat itu adalah lebih menyerabutkan dari asyik dok mengharap dia buat, tapi dia tak buat2 jugak.
22. Being a wife needs lots of patience because not all men can understand women.
-DO. Hoho...perkara sabar ni, kalau korunk mak2 perasan korunk takkan khatam bab sabar ni. Diorang bukan tak understand but it just that they understand us with the way that we donno.
23. Support him in everything, his ups and downs.
-DO. Mestilah bro, jika dia tgh up, then it is ur up jugak. So takkan time dia down U still nak up sorang2 lagi beb...
24. I should ask him for nice presents for my birthday, if only he loves me.
-DONT. I've never expect any present from my husband. Takut nnt tak dapat jekk...kih kih...so better expect for nothing lah.
25. Love him unconditionally.
-DO.
26. Put some tolerance in everything because not all marriage last.
-DONNO
27. Say I love you everyday.
-DONNO. Need ka say I Lap U everyday?? I'm worry that my husband meremang bulu tengkok tiap kali I say so. Maybe u kan express ur love by SMS, cooking, touching, ironing his cloth, picit his kaki, jamu dia air n so on.
28. Always think about how to make him happy, even if he doesn’t always make me happy.
-DO. Sebelum he find anybody else to make him happy...ke ke
29. He should give me some money so that I can enjoy myself.
-DONT. Kalau dia nak bagi, dia akan bagi. Saya dah biasa mcm tu.
30. Ask someone else to cook (bibik or chef kedai) so that we can spend time alone together.
-DONT. Takleh sentiasa mcmni sbb perut dia bukan lapar nasi kedai esp kalau dia dah lapar dan harap kat umah ada makanan. Kalau bab maid, adei byk history lah yang suami senang2 cari lain sbb boring maid layan. Mcm mana ek?
OKeh, skang saya mau bgtau, kalau ada yg baca apa yg saya tulis terlampau menyerah, atau terlampau pasrah, atau terlampau apa2 aje aa.. but for me, it is a matter what u give, u get back. Pun dikebanyakan masa saya terkehel jugak dalam melayan suami ku yang penyabar itu. Ada masa boleh lah mengamak tapi pilih2 aaa...
1. Sincerely accept him as my husband right from the start.
-DO. Namanya dah jadi suami maka kita bukan kawen sama kebaikannya aja tapi dengan keburukannya juga. Selepas je akad berlangsung, maka telah sah2 jadik bini orang, maka wajiblah pula bagi isteri untuk terima suaminya di saat itu jugak. Jangan tunggu 3,4,5 ari baru nak terima dia dengan ikhlas.
2. Put him as priority, even before the kids. Because he stands at the highest rank in ‘the people I shall obey to’.
-DO. Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a bahawa Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang maksudnya: “Jika aku hendak menyuruh seseorang supaya sujud kepada seseorang tentulah aku perintahkan isteri supaya sujud kepada suaminya.” — Riwayat at-Tirmidzi, Ibnu Hibban, al-Baihaqi dan al-Wahidi
3. Encourage him to respect and take care of his mother, even if the MIL is very the cerewet.
-DO. Tu mak dia, mana boleh ajar mana2 anak sekalipun untuk tidak menghormati mak ayah dia. Bila suami kita hormat mak ayah dia, anak2 kita akan memerhati dan mereka akan turut menghormati kita nantinya.
4. Avoid communication breakdown, always talk and discuss about everything. And if I can’t, just send an SMS, email or letter.
-DO. Takyah kawin lah kot kalau tamau sembang, tamau jadi kawan gossip, tamau jadi tempat mengadu. Kan? Skang ni plak zaman semua benda dihujung jari...picit je lah apa yang ada. Takde idea?? Google lah idea sampai jumpa...hihi
5. Pray for him everytime I perform solat so that he can get the happiness and succeed in everything he ventures.
-DO. Kalau suami susah kita pun susah wooo...
6. Ask for his attention because I am his wife. He should prioritize me more than everything.
-DONT. Lelaki perlu banyak benda nak fikir. Serius...dia akan jemu kalau asyik dipaksa mengadap bini dia aja. Minta sekali sekala tak apa, itupun kalau dia sedang lupa kepada prioriti kita.
7. His mother has no right on him after he has his own family. His mother should stay away from his life and let him be with me and the kids.
-DONT. Takleh la mcm tu...tak rela weih nanti kalau Usamah dengan Uwaiys buat gini pada umi. Sob sob
8. Protect his dignity and don’t tell others about his bad and his weakness. Unless if he’s doing something not right.
- DO. If he's doing something not rite, u must be the 1st person to correct him back.
9. Always cook his favourite food and even if I don’t like it, I will still smiling and eat together.
-DO. Especially when he ask for it. But for me, we eat everything together.
10. Cool him down if he is under stress of anger by saying nice words, not membebel.
-DO. Do backing ur husband when he is under stress, this will push up his mood again but dont forget to counterback whatever u think he is wrong.
11. Say sorry even if we’re not doing anything wrong to avoid argument.
-DONT. Ini adalah in my case la ek. Lagi mintak maaf lagi berat jadi. Suami ku itu bersedia untuk memaafkan (rasanya). So, yang ni kalau secara umumnya adalah maybe DO n maybe DONT
12. Ask for ‘kesamarataan’ in husband and wife. I deserve to live as what I want to.
-DONNO. Hihi I've never ask for 'kesamarataan' because most of the time I feel like I dont have the rightful to be 'samarata' with my dear suami. Maybe, because of this my husband act to 'samaratakan' hidup kitorang. Senang ceritanya, I respect U dan U balas dengan respect me back.
13. House chores is not my job, it’s him. So he has to do his job or get a maid.
-DONT. It is kerjasama wonderpet. Ha ha...the job is not mine but it is not urs also, but it is ours.
14. He has no right to check my handphone because it is my privacy.
-DONT. Tak kisah maa...cek la. Sebab kita pun suka cek enpon dia...ke ke
15. I have my own life and I don’t need to ask his permission if I want to do anything.
-DONT. Alangkan nak puasa pun kene minta izin weih. Dont act as if U dont have laki. In marriage, mana ada istilah own life lagi, ia adalah our life.
16. He has to choose between his mother family or me. If he loves me, then he should choose me.
-DONT. Keluargaku, keluargamu jua. Gitulah lebih kurang. Manusia sentiasa ada kekurangannya.
17. I would do all the chores and manage the kids, even if I am working and exhausted after a long day.
- DONT. Kalau suami tak buat, buatlah sampai dia buat gak keje. Mcm mana nak suruh dia buat? Gunalah mcm2 cara dan please give more attention to the way that most effective.
18. Be transparent and do not keep secret to each other.
-DO. So U guys, dont ask me to keep secret to my suami unless it is seriously secret.
19. I have to respect his privacy because a man always needs space for himself.
-DO. Kepala dia akan semak kalau tak abis2 dengan kita aje. Sementara dia gunakan his time of privacy, get urself privacy XTVT also.
20. Sexual intercourse is not important, as long as we show love toward each other.
-DONNO also n no komen. Kikiki...
21. Focusing on how to be a good wife and mother rather than asking/hoping him to be a good husband and father.
-DO. U can just hope ur husband to be so but dont ask them sbb men got their level of egoism. Biarkan aje..yang penting kita buat keje kite sbb bila kita tak buat itu adalah lebih menyerabutkan dari asyik dok mengharap dia buat, tapi dia tak buat2 jugak.
22. Being a wife needs lots of patience because not all men can understand women.
-DO. Hoho...perkara sabar ni, kalau korunk mak2 perasan korunk takkan khatam bab sabar ni. Diorang bukan tak understand but it just that they understand us with the way that we donno.
23. Support him in everything, his ups and downs.
-DO. Mestilah bro, jika dia tgh up, then it is ur up jugak. So takkan time dia down U still nak up sorang2 lagi beb...
24. I should ask him for nice presents for my birthday, if only he loves me.
-DONT. I've never expect any present from my husband. Takut nnt tak dapat jekk...kih kih...so better expect for nothing lah.
25. Love him unconditionally.
-DO.
26. Put some tolerance in everything because not all marriage last.
-DONNO
27. Say I love you everyday.
-DONNO. Need ka say I Lap U everyday?? I'm worry that my husband meremang bulu tengkok tiap kali I say so. Maybe u kan express ur love by SMS, cooking, touching, ironing his cloth, picit his kaki, jamu dia air n so on.
28. Always think about how to make him happy, even if he doesn’t always make me happy.
-DO. Sebelum he find anybody else to make him happy...ke ke
29. He should give me some money so that I can enjoy myself.
-DONT. Kalau dia nak bagi, dia akan bagi. Saya dah biasa mcm tu.
30. Ask someone else to cook (bibik or chef kedai) so that we can spend time alone together.
-DONT. Takleh sentiasa mcmni sbb perut dia bukan lapar nasi kedai esp kalau dia dah lapar dan harap kat umah ada makanan. Kalau bab maid, adei byk history lah yang suami senang2 cari lain sbb boring maid layan. Mcm mana ek?
OKeh, skang saya mau bgtau, kalau ada yg baca apa yg saya tulis terlampau menyerah, atau terlampau pasrah, atau terlampau apa2 aje aa.. but for me, it is a matter what u give, u get back. Pun dikebanyakan masa saya terkehel jugak dalam melayan suami ku yang penyabar itu. Ada masa boleh lah mengamak tapi pilih2 aaa...
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